K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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