Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize