we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
