I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
