yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
