hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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