Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I supernannyed him into submission
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
