Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
