Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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