I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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