dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard my ears popped.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize