Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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