Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
