I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
