I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize