I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize