I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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