i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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