margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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