He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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