I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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