he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im drinking this country out of the recession.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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