Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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