girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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