In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.