At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
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We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.