Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.