I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
