drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
