I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
