Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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