i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
