I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
