The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
