I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
