i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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