the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
