Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
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High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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