Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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