bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
