If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
