i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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