I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Blood and glitter go together right?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The adults are the big ones right?
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