I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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