I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
