end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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