walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize