So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
