Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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