he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize
