You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize