Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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