So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
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Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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