last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
