And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
