Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
