I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
