doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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