Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
