Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
false alarm. still invincible.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
