U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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