Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
