based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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