Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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